BETRAYED
Guess wat? I got betrayed by e person I loved or shld I said I once loved. Not only by tat person, frenz ard me who knew abt e matter didn’t tell me too. I’m even more hurt now. Veri hurt… No words can actually describe the pain I’m sufferin rite now. I feel like dyin….. Death juz bring everything to an end.
How i got betray? Well it’s simple, two-timed lah. Some more its I find out by myself. hahaha… how interestin!! Guess if i never find out i will still be tinkin wat’s wrong in the relationship. I’m still cryin. Even now s I’m typin this blog I’m still cryin. The weather suits my mood at e same time. Grey clouds gloomin on top of me n rain drops fallin down like my tears rollin down my cheeks. My heart? Its has now shattered into pieces cant be mended anymore.
LOVE. wat is love? can anybody enlighten me on tat? This is e sixth time I got hurt in a relationship. THE SIXTH TIME. N each time it’s even more worse than e previous one. HOW PATHETIC CAN I GET!!!!! im really veri pathetic. Guess nobody could be as pathetic as I can be. Wat have i done in my previous life? Why m i being treated dis way? Guess this is wat u called retribution.Hahaha… Wat comes ard, goes ard. So pple, be careful at wat u do n wat u say. This comes from a true life experience. Learn from it k?
Now wat m i goin to do? Still got another 2months plus before my 21st birthday. Will anyone of u come to my birthday celebration? Hmmm… will there be anybody at my celebration? I dunnoe…. maybe not.. maybe juz a few…. mayb…. mayb…. Hopefully wen i turned 21 i will turned mature at e same time. I shall not live in my dreams anymore. They are unrealistic. Cindy, GROW UP!!!! After so many times u still haven learn ur lesson. Sigh…. Guess GOD also gave up on me. No, GOD didnt give up on me. Coz GOD cry for me too. See, its rainin outside. The veri 1st time I failed in a relationship I told GOD:" When I cry, YOU dun cry(rain) for me. When I’m cryin in my heart, YOU cry(rain) for me". GOD never let me down. Sorry GOD, I know I’ve let u down so many times. I juz pray for strength to let me carry on with my life. PEACEFULLY.
Wen will i turn old? Wen will i leave dis world? I know its veri irresponsible for me to juz leave like tat leavin my family n frenz n most importantly my patients. I’m not sayin I want to leave now. Juz askin wen I’m leavin, coz dis world juz cause me so much pain. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. For my family, frenz n patients, I will carry on with my life till the day GOD wants me.
July 13th, 2005 at 11:52 pm
Hey Cindy
Well wanted to find u telling u bout something during our sec sch days….but after reading your blog…juz wanna say..everything gots its up n down. dun ever give up hope cos hope is always around its only a matter of time, rest if u muz but dun quit…winners never quit.
I noe its easyer say then done. ppl always say time can cure all wounds…but i dun…instead i tend to thin wounds can be cure if u really wan it to be cured. no matter how deep a wound is, its only whether u wan to cure it or leave it open 4ever to create a more bigger wound.
this something for u thin bout
” Failure is something everyone experiences in life. people are generally afraid to fail cos of the stigma tat comes with it. by adopting the attitude tat failures r not stumbling blocks but stepping stones to success, we will not be afraid to try n to take calculated risks- a pre requisite for success.”
I noe its been a month plus since it happen. i really hope u can open up again n stand on your feet firm. e days i’ve noe u, u were always confident, daring to take risk, level headed. so have all these gone down e drain cos of a few failed relationship?
Dun 4get i’m still your senior haha so if u ever need me for help or a shoulder to cry on give me a call at 91826814.
now to e main thing. i manage to contact Mrs Raj n most probably meeting her on national day with e younger juniors like weilin, jenelle n kristal. wondering u wanna come along?
Yours,
Joel
August 13th, 2005 at 1:13 am
Hi it’s me nicholas here. Sorry now then i post back.. It’s exactly 1 month since my friend joel has posted hos comments… Dun look on the negative side of life.. Always look on the bright side of life. Death does not solve all problems. Problems are like soap bubbles and not every bubble could be burst immediately once soap bubbles are formed so in life some problems we cannot solve within our limits. I do understand how it feels your loved one has just betrayed you. Guess this is part and parcel of life. It also has taught you another thing by experiencing. Even though it is your 6th time just forget it. Just give yourself some time to cool down and concentrate on your career and family. take care
March 1st, 2007 at 1:41 am
hi this is the 2nd time i write friendster to u.this time i think ur love life should b different fr the rest.Relations must understand that u need to put urself 1st or u will b miserable 4ever.take really gd care of urself.